I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
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If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
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Bang-toberfest begins!!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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