quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize