ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize