you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
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Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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