ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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