I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
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He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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