It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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