No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's shark week go big or go home
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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