Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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