so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize