just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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