Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize