i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
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I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
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To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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