She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize