She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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