This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize