i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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