do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize