i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
do nipples grow back?
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