Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I checked into jail on foursquare
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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