sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize