I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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