im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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