When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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