there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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