i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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