You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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