Cold hands, warm shart.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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