hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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