When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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