if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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