Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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