I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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