WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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