just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
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I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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