i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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