we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize