I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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