Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
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your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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