i think my mom watched the whole time
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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