I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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