can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
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as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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