im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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