2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize