they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize