I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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