Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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