I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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