I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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