Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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